f-o-u-r

在一起四个月了~~
开始慢慢的步入磨合期~~
虽然常常被你气哭，但想说这四个月来我是幸福的~~
在这段感情里，我是脾气不好的那一个 rfrf
但是你总会温柔的安抚我，总是细心的呵护着这份感情~~
看着和我们差不多同一时间开始的好友，常常为了男友邹眉头……
我想，相较之下我是该知足了~~
（但情绪有时候就是tmd不受控制嘛rf）

对于我们目前的相处模式还算满意~
每天都一定会和对方联络……（就那么一次某人没开漫游滚去普吉岛失踪了两天 ==）
不论如何争吵，都会在当天和好……
定时定侯要报告行踪~~
我想，正所谓磨合，就是要经过琢磨，双方才可以达到绝对的合契吧~~
我们一起加油吧~^^

这四个月来~~
谢谢比鼻包容我~
也谢谢比鼻爱我 =)

Into the new world~

recently finds that i'm not so into kpop anymore~~
those ever renewing trends in kpop is too fast for me,
i guess as time goes by, as age adds on, it's time to slow down a little~~
kpop is not really that hip in korea if u ask me...
my oppas alwiz told me, idols are for high school kids...c'mon, u're an adult now...
the longer i'm in korea myself...the more "koreanized" i am~~
i started listening to indie bands and more mainstream artists...
i started watching variety shows that most ppl watch here...
from the point that i could not understand what they say much,
til now i can even understand 85% of the jokes in Gag Concert...
and watching all the dramas even without subtitle...
discussing about Jjak and Love&War2 with my friends...
it's reli amazing how far i'd come~~

in terms of travelling, i had covered more than 50% of South Jeolla now~~
the plan is to completely leave my tracks all over South Jeolla b4 i leave Korea nx year~~
it's really an amazing and wonderful place~
and i really could not understand why many ppl had came to korea for many times,
yet they just would not visit the most beautiful parts of korea even once...
and i dun mean only for South Jeolla....there are many beautiful places all over korea other than seoul...
i'm thinking more like a korean now...
whole week long in korea but only spending all the time in Seoul is totally unacceptable...
you had not seen the beauty of korea...u had just experienced the city life of korea...
getting away from your own hectic life for a trip, however just in the busy streets of another country...
i just dun get it...

to me...being here for 2yrs is really a marvelous experience!!!
i'd got true korean frens...that had really taken care of me well all time long...
i had experienced the true essence of korean culture~~
be it lab culture, food culture, senior-junior culture....everything...
korean had become one of my main language nowadays...
i hope i will not forget it even if i'm back in m'sia~~
and i'm so gonna teach my kids korean next time =)
and also bring them on frequent trips back here to korea,
to meet the aunties and uncles whom their mum had grown fond to in these 2yrs...
not to forget, to fly over to the US to visit Uncle Dan in Austin and Uncle EunSang in New York~~
kekekeke~~i guess other than the spectacular experience of life,
the one precious thing that i gained here is friendship <3

你不在

曾经一段时间超爱这首歌~~
现在听起来，却仿佛有了另一种意境~~
感觉有些许部分，就像自己的心情写照~~


单身的时候我很喜欢独处，拥有自己平静的自我省思空间~~
但是天生缺乏安全感~~~
所以恋爱中我很害怕一个人~~
我太了解自己的坏习惯……
只要我一静下来，脑袋就会不听使唤的把思绪带到一个难以预知的灰色地带~~


下个星期一是难得的公共假期~~
难得三天连休，室友姐姐也会回家乡去~~
也意味着房间只有我独自占有，原本打算整个周末好好陪陪我比鼻~~
因为我们好久都没好好聊天了~~
但是昨晚才发现原来他之前报名的营会就在这个周末~~*晴天霹雳*
突然不知道我该何去何从~~
我这个周末到底该干嘛~~
一个人在房间里耗上三天的话，我不敢想象出来的结果会是什么~~
毕竟一直以来脑子里本就有很多负面想法在潜伏着~~


昨天室友姐姐突然问了我个问题~
“yy啊~你不是说有男友吗？怎么经常只看到你和朋友们出去玩~没听说过你跟男友约会去~？”
一听这问题我就直接趴在床上耍赖了~~
“偶腻~~伦家也想跟男友出去约会啊 T-T”
上一次白色情人节~看着秀研姐姐的男友再迟也特地开车过来和她一起庆祝~
我多希望我比鼻也可以在这里和我一起过~~
上一次跟着金彦和诗妍出外用餐逛街~看着这小两口斗嘴，看着诗妍75金彦~我也好羡慕 T-T


远距离嘛……就是
不管开心、伤心、累了、倦了、快乐、难过……也都只能由自己转述给对方知道~~
不管病得多么痛苦多么辛苦……也都只能自己好好看顾照料自己~~
不管多么想念多想见面……也都只能对着一部机器诉说~~
不管多么想要用一个拥抱换来安抚……也都只能抱着空气得到虚无~~
不管多么希望对方下一秒就出现在自己面前……也都只能告诉自己别傻了~~
不管多么的想要一个肩膀依靠……也都只能鼓励自己要独立~~
不管多么歇斯底里的哭泣……也都只能待心情平伏了再自己擦干泪水~~


坚持的勇气和毅力还剩下多少……还可以撑多久……我不知道……
但愿是很多很多，很久很久……

Belated 100th days

One week ago we embraced our 100th day being together~
it's a big day for Koreans, in everything the 100th days are celebrated~~
i had alwiz been thankful that i have him with me~
through all the sufferings i'm enduring~
and also through all the good times we're sharing~~
it's the longest relationship i had been in...for the moment...
and also he's the one i would like to spend my life with~~
however....
i guess i'm back to moodswing recently due to too much stress and too many matters to be taken care of~~
i started to think a lot, and started to being doubtful all over again...
i lost my confidence in us, or more, i lost the belief i had in me....
the negative thoughts are eating up all the spaces in my head....
and i even started to doubt how far more we can go~~
in the end, i just released all of my frustrations on him...
pity him...for being the victim of my unknown dilemmas...
and all he can do is keep apologizing, for something that's not even his fault...
i'm not a good girlfriend...i admit...
i know i bullied him a lot...
i should treat him better instead...
i'll learn to control myself more...
but at the moment, the stress on my shoulder is taking its toll on my spiritual and mental strength...
oh God...please help me...
bless me with wisdom and strength...to get over all the problems i'm facing now...
hope everything will turn out just right....

anyway...
Happy (belated) 100th Days baby~♥
and i'm sorry for treating u bad...

3rd Monthsary =)

不知不觉，在一起满三个月了~

虽然在这当中，只有1个星期的时间是真正在一起的……

但是你说过，无论何时，你都在我心里陪着我 =)

再熬过5个月，就可以紧紧的抱着你了~

这段时间以来，谢谢你的耐性和包容~

我不乖，爱捣蛋爱耍赖，总是爱气一气你~

但你从来都不会对我发脾气，哪怕只是那么一丁点儿都没有~~

虽然我常常嚷着要换bb~但是你知道那不是真的……

再给我个高帅富我也只要我的bb~~

上个月小小的抱怨了一下下……

结果这个月居然给了我个大惊喜 T^T

 死家伙，害我边哭边笑的把视频看完 >_<

又感动又开心的~~

倒数着100日和10月的到来~~

比鼻~~爱你哟~~

想念~

某人滚去台湾一个星期了~~
虽然某人每天都坚持以sms联络~~
但还是很想念 ><
虽然说起来，马来西亚--韩国和台湾--韩国并没差~~
但至少某人在国内时，kakao和msn都可以很方便的联络~~
现在最多一天十多二十封的简讯……
不过说起来最大受益者还是网络电讯公司 XD

在一起快满3个月了~~
回头想想，整个过程还是很神奇~~
从好朋友变情人这一点，到现在我还是觉得很不可思议~~
虽然如此，我还是很感谢上帝把他带到我身边 =)
某人疼我像个孩子，让我感受到他用心的呵护~~
我一直说要找个至少跟我家人一样疼我宠我的男人~~
他做到了有过之而无不及~~
心情不好的时候让他逗逗~
心情好的时候跟他撒娇~
调皮的时候耍耍赖~
生气的时候让他哄哄~
伤心的时候让他安慰安慰~
受伤的时候让他心疼心疼~
幸福，也不过就是这么简单的程式~~
好想就这样赖在某人怀里一辈子~~^^

星期四快快来~~~
某人快快回来~~~！！！！

简单的幸福

今天跟dada聊下来……
才发现，原来我对幸福的要求是那么的简单……
某人很木，对于monthsary这些都不上心……
所以没关系，由我来提醒就好……
女朋友们常满心期待的问，我monthsary收到了啥礼物……
哈？对于一个连这些日子都记不住的人，我还可以奢望收到啥 ><
某人欠我的告白，也都不知啥时候舍得偿还我 T-T
死家伙，每次都用一句心有灵犀给我搪塞过去！

下个月monthsary和百日纪念的礼物都想好要送啥了~~
但我看某人连百日这玩意儿都不懂吧 >_<
虽说每次都不抱希望，但心底下还是带有那么一点点期望的~~
所以难免会有那么一丁点的小失落~~


算了……某人虽然不是个浪漫的情人，
但至少可以确定他会是个贴心的老公……
前几天身子不舒服通宵泻肚子 T-T
某人居然就这样傻傻的通宵守在电脑前陪着我，直到我不小心睡着了才甘心去补眠……
几百年都不打扫收拾好自己房间的懒人，
终于在我催过闹过之后，现在自动自发的每个星期六定时定侯整理好自己的作息环境……
dada虽然嫌弃某人进度过慢，但男人嘛，推得动总比推不动的来得强吧 o(︶︿︶)o
而且至少知道在他未来的规划里有我的存在，我也该知足了~~(*^__^*)
*自我安慰mode*

from 1 to 2 =) Happy 2nd Monthsary!!

2 months into our relationship,
yet there are still lots more to learn and explore =)
cherish every single moment together,
and let's count for many more months to come *winks*
Love u~~♥

矛盾

O型本来就应该很开朗~~事事都无所谓且积极正面~~
但天蝎却很多愁善感~~杞人忧天之余又爱钻牛角尖~~
常常在牛角尖里觉得舒服得差点就在那儿安居下来了呢 o(︶︿︶)o
蝎子们本来就想象力超丰富~~（看看毕卡索 =P）
那当想象力+想太多碰撞在一起时可想而知脑袋里的火花是多么的璀璨啊！！
O型的正面加上天蝎的负面，正负得负，所以呢想出来的都不是什么好结果~~
明明没啥事，但已经过脑袋分析过后就什么都好像末日大难一样 ==


这几天又一直被之前的困扰影响着……
脑袋里一直重复地问着同一个问题……
想来想去得不到答案……所以出来的结论只有一个……
真的要这样吗？？不好吧……
我不知道到底是怎么了，也不知道自己到底要什么了……
矛盾~矛盾~矛盾！

我没有在偷懒~~

 

某女乱糟糟的办公桌~~~
证明了某女有在努力干活ok~~~不准笑！
要做的事情还真的是一摞摞……永远做不完似的~~
但又永远不知道自己到底在忙什么……

一堆关于即将展开的research的论文……
关于如何清扫死细胞~~
永远念不完~~
因为念完一份，又发现了新大陆又要找其他的填补资料~~
累死~

一堆后天presentation需要用到的资料~~
利用费尔蒙来解释为什么有时候公的会变母的，母的又会变公的~~
暂时只在实验鼠身上得到了证明~~
要是在人身上也应用得到的话，那就可以scientifically解释lesbians, gays and bi~~
这种探讨两性的课题某女最爱了~~
所以professor宋美女问谁愿意volunteer for presentation的时候某女拉拉声举手举高高 XP
虽然现在有点小后悔，但为了那额外的100分我拼了~！！*ROAR*

还有一堆上个星期的neuron课堂handout和资料~~
拖着拖着到了今天都还没有做好笔记 >___<
这个星期三的quiz不要死得太难看才好~~！！！
今年才拿那么一科，给我个A flat不可以咩 T__T
某女要求不高的，我又没有要A+~~

还有一份韩语试卷题~~今天高级韩语课的功课~
aiseh~~这么多份pending/in progress的工作里面我做得最开心的就是它了 =D
除了答题还一边做笔记做得不亦乐乎~呼呼~~

还有我没了它会生不如死的iPad~~
每天定时定侯draw something和在coin dozer丢下钱~~
陶冶性情舒解娱乐下~~
啊不然一整天看着一堆堆的文字会暗伤的~~

还有白色情人节时食堂业者+宋美女教授分派的棒棒糖~~
某女贪心拿了不少差点没吃掉牙~~
到现在都还吃不完 XD

还有一罐午饭过后买的sparkling grapes juice~~
也是喝了一个下午都喝不完 ==

还有一包从去年开始吃到现在都还吃不完的cornflakes~~
现在这间办公室没有冰箱，不能收牛奶~~
所以吃早餐的习惯也暂且打住！

还有一盒被我拗来的各类巧克力~~
明明不是特别爱吃巧克力~~
但纯粹出于没事找事干，所以硬把人家的掰过来了~呵呵~~

还有挂在墙上，去年mich妹妹从台湾寄过来明信片 ♥
漂亮的绿岛~~至少我桌上有些绿色的物品~~养神啊~~
还有去年把我送走之前举家上云顶的合照~~
想家的时候就看看下解解馋~~

还有还有，电脑桌面上跟bb的合照~~嘻~~
办公办得眼睛累了精神倦了，
看一看桌面，
眼睛亮一亮~
嘴角牵一牵~
心里暖一暖~
啊，又有动力继续埋头苦干了~~

看我写了这么长一篇，就知道我纯粹是在逃避该做的事
*耸耸肩**叹叹气*
该回归现实了~~吼 o(︶︿︶)o