有你真好 =)

是啊，老公~~

生命里，有你真好 =)

虽然我可以自立的活得很好，但还是喜欢依赖你的感觉~

喜欢被你需要的感觉，也喜欢你可以让我信靠的感觉~

虽然偶有争执，但哪对情侣不吵架呢？

反而可以让我们更理解彼此的心，可以把我们拉得更近~

只要你答应我，不管怎么样都一定要在当天把我哄回~*勾勾手*

喜欢事无大小都可以跟你说~因为你是我最好的听众~

也喜欢每天被你哄着入睡~

虽然你每一首歌都只会唱那几句 == 

而且还经常被我嫌弃 *bleh*

但现在每个晚上睡觉时，若听不到你的声音就感觉少了些什么似的……

你很坏 *瞪* 哪天你不得空的时候我怎么办 >_<

很想就这样子，一辈子赖在你身边被你爱着疼着宠着……

就算天塌下来都有你帮我顶着~~

老公~

虽然迟了6天，

Happy 5th Monthsary ♥♥♥♥♥

反思

今天，坐在电脑前……发了一整个下午的呆……
反省了自己近日的变化……以及往后该走的方向……
人类嘛~就是要有欲望，才会有奋发追求的动力~~
我承认，在我的人生中……我要的很多~~
习惯了，从小我想要的，妈妈都会尽力去满足……
所以，我相信只要我想只要我要，没有东西是我不能够得到的~~
也一直不断努力提升自己，以期换得对等的回报~~

年纪都快26了……是该放下任性了~~
从现在起学会自己赚取自己想要的东西~~
不该再依赖他人，不该再期望他人~~
是时候以自己的努力与付出，换来收获~~
再忍一忍吧~~
再过半年++，就可以摆脱学生生涯~~踏入这险恶的社会了~~
再过不久，就要面对现实了~~o(︶︿︶)o 唉
但现实是会换来回报的，开始赚了钱，就可以按计划慢慢买下心仪已久东东了~~
要的不多，但也不便宜 =P
一部佳能650D相机~
upgrade一部好的智能手机~
（我这部SE，有够慢，画面有够小，很多app又不能用 ><
虽然风光的在amazing spiderman里出现了！）
本来也想upgrade下ipad...但想想，反正回马以后应该不太需要用到了吧~~
只要换部好的手机，这架老ipad的不足就应该都可以弥补了~~
然后再来当然就是疯狂的血拼！！！！

憧憬着美好的未来~~
看着眼前残酷的现实……
乖乖的再熬完这半年吧 T-T

i wana go home T-T

just got an email from air asia today~~
finally, they are starting on dealing with connecting flights for certain destinations,
including Incheon--Penang...
good news for me~!!!
as i do not have to buy two separate tix anymore....
someone gatal gatal go check the prices for the connecting flights....
and they appear to be quite ok~!!
so suddenly, the urge to go home grew so strong T-T
me wan go home~~me wan go home~~me wan go home~~
wuwuwuwuwuwu T-T

o(︶︿︶)o 唉

今天一整个早上心情都阴阴的……
说不上为什么……
就觉得这整个星期过得浑浑噩噩的……
这种日子过了4个月……
最近情况越来越糟糕，连课都会忘了去上……
看着哥哥姐姐们都快毕业了， 再看看自己手上一份data都没有……
我拿什么去毕业……
是啊，每个人都问我，你毕得了业吗？
一定可以的……我跟每一个人说……
因为，我相信天父，我相信祂……
祂让我做了这个选择，就一定不会让我失望的……
但是自己心里何尝不恐惧……
我知道每个人都是出于关心的慰问，
但是你们的每一句“能够赶得及毕业吗？”，却一点一点的加重了我的心理负担……
帮着每一个人完成他们的毕业论文和presentation~~
看着他们都顺利过关我也很开心~~
但是看看自己，我的论文呢？
忽然教授又跟我说要改题目……那我过去四个月来念的岂不都是白费的……
忽然觉得前路茫茫……
很讨厌这种临时改变的东西……
正如我常跟某人说我最讨厌他临时告诉我有约……

昨晚和某人谈起了信任……

天蝎座 弱点：消极，悲观，嫉妒心较强，猜疑心强

害怕：背叛，没有知己。

虽然说星座并不一定准确……
但这短短的一行，已经足以解释一切了不是吗？
不是不信任……而是相较于信任，那股害怕背叛的恐惧来得更强大……
或许不该把之前受过的伤加注在他身上……
但是见过鬼就会怕黑……
过去的一切一直在不断的提醒着我，信任换来背叛那种撕心裂肺的痛有多么难熬……
看着妈妈那么爱爸爸，为了他付出了一生，却给自己换来了辛苦的一辈子……
我不是对他没信心，而是对我自己没有信心……
没想过要离开……但我什么都不是……凭什么来抓住他……
我拿什么来要他留在我身边一辈子……

对于我的阴晴不定，想必他也累了吧……
我自己也累了……
我想，是时候好好自己沉淀下了……

老公@老婆

昨晚聊着聊着~~
某人忽然想要我改称他为老公~~rfrf
问他为啥，他说，这样亲密点~~
是啊~~对我来说~~这个称呼是最亲密的了~~
这个称呼，意味着必须要对我负责一辈子了~~
同时也意味着我，需要开始学习做人家的老婆了~~*羞*
虽然只是一个称呼，但是对我来说背后隐藏着重大的意义~~
因为被我称为老公的这个人，就是我要托付一生的那一个人了~~
思前想后，深思熟虑了之后，还是决定了~
既然我们都开始在着手策划婚礼细节，也在规划着将来了~
好吧……
从今天起，比鼻你就是我老公了~~
从今天起，我会学着当个好老婆~~
从今天起，不准再把老婆弄哭了~~
从今天起，我就是你一辈子的包袱了~~
从今天起，你要把我的幸福摆在第一位了~~
从今天起，你要一直一直疼爱我了~
从今天起，我们就永远都不分开了~~


老公 (*^__^*) 嘻嘻
爱你哟~


P/S：从今天起，你的钱就统统都是我的钱了~~*奸笑*

f-o-u-r

在一起四个月了~~
开始慢慢的步入磨合期~~
虽然常常被你气哭，但想说这四个月来我是幸福的~~
在这段感情里，我是脾气不好的那一个 rfrf
但是你总会温柔的安抚我，总是细心的呵护着这份感情~~
看着和我们差不多同一时间开始的好友，常常为了男友邹眉头……
我想，相较之下我是该知足了~~
（但情绪有时候就是tmd不受控制嘛rf）

对于我们目前的相处模式还算满意~
每天都一定会和对方联络……（就那么一次某人没开漫游滚去普吉岛失踪了两天 ==）
不论如何争吵，都会在当天和好……
定时定侯要报告行踪~~
我想，正所谓磨合，就是要经过琢磨，双方才可以达到绝对的合契吧~~
我们一起加油吧~^^

这四个月来~~
谢谢比鼻包容我~
也谢谢比鼻爱我 =)

Into the new world~

recently finds that i'm not so into kpop anymore~~
those ever renewing trends in kpop is too fast for me,
i guess as time goes by, as age adds on, it's time to slow down a little~~
kpop is not really that hip in korea if u ask me...
my oppas alwiz told me, idols are for high school kids...c'mon, u're an adult now...
the longer i'm in korea myself...the more "koreanized" i am~~
i started listening to indie bands and more mainstream artists...
i started watching variety shows that most ppl watch here...
from the point that i could not understand what they say much,
til now i can even understand 85% of the jokes in Gag Concert...
and watching all the dramas even without subtitle...
discussing about Jjak and Love&War2 with my friends...
it's reli amazing how far i'd come~~

in terms of travelling, i had covered more than 50% of South Jeolla now~~
the plan is to completely leave my tracks all over South Jeolla b4 i leave Korea nx year~~
it's really an amazing and wonderful place~
and i really could not understand why many ppl had came to korea for many times,
yet they just would not visit the most beautiful parts of korea even once...
and i dun mean only for South Jeolla....there are many beautiful places all over korea other than seoul...
i'm thinking more like a korean now...
whole week long in korea but only spending all the time in Seoul is totally unacceptable...
you had not seen the beauty of korea...u had just experienced the city life of korea...
getting away from your own hectic life for a trip, however just in the busy streets of another country...
i just dun get it...

to me...being here for 2yrs is really a marvelous experience!!!
i'd got true korean frens...that had really taken care of me well all time long...
i had experienced the true essence of korean culture~~
be it lab culture, food culture, senior-junior culture....everything...
korean had become one of my main language nowadays...
i hope i will not forget it even if i'm back in m'sia~~
and i'm so gonna teach my kids korean next time =)
and also bring them on frequent trips back here to korea,
to meet the aunties and uncles whom their mum had grown fond to in these 2yrs...
not to forget, to fly over to the US to visit Uncle Dan in Austin and Uncle EunSang in New York~~
kekekeke~~i guess other than the spectacular experience of life,
the one precious thing that i gained here is friendship <3

你不在

曾经一段时间超爱这首歌~~
现在听起来，却仿佛有了另一种意境~~
感觉有些许部分，就像自己的心情写照~~


单身的时候我很喜欢独处，拥有自己平静的自我省思空间~~
但是天生缺乏安全感~~~
所以恋爱中我很害怕一个人~~
我太了解自己的坏习惯……
只要我一静下来，脑袋就会不听使唤的把思绪带到一个难以预知的灰色地带~~


下个星期一是难得的公共假期~~
难得三天连休，室友姐姐也会回家乡去~~
也意味着房间只有我独自占有，原本打算整个周末好好陪陪我比鼻~~
因为我们好久都没好好聊天了~~
但是昨晚才发现原来他之前报名的营会就在这个周末~~*晴天霹雳*
突然不知道我该何去何从~~
我这个周末到底该干嘛~~
一个人在房间里耗上三天的话，我不敢想象出来的结果会是什么~~
毕竟一直以来脑子里本就有很多负面想法在潜伏着~~


昨天室友姐姐突然问了我个问题~
“yy啊~你不是说有男友吗？怎么经常只看到你和朋友们出去玩~没听说过你跟男友约会去~？”
一听这问题我就直接趴在床上耍赖了~~
“偶腻~~伦家也想跟男友出去约会啊 T-T”
上一次白色情人节~看着秀研姐姐的男友再迟也特地开车过来和她一起庆祝~
我多希望我比鼻也可以在这里和我一起过~~
上一次跟着金彦和诗妍出外用餐逛街~看着这小两口斗嘴，看着诗妍75金彦~我也好羡慕 T-T


远距离嘛……就是
不管开心、伤心、累了、倦了、快乐、难过……也都只能由自己转述给对方知道~~
不管病得多么痛苦多么辛苦……也都只能自己好好看顾照料自己~~
不管多么想念多想见面……也都只能对着一部机器诉说~~
不管多么想要用一个拥抱换来安抚……也都只能抱着空气得到虚无~~
不管多么希望对方下一秒就出现在自己面前……也都只能告诉自己别傻了~~
不管多么的想要一个肩膀依靠……也都只能鼓励自己要独立~~
不管多么歇斯底里的哭泣……也都只能待心情平伏了再自己擦干泪水~~


坚持的勇气和毅力还剩下多少……还可以撑多久……我不知道……
但愿是很多很多，很久很久……

Belated 100th days

One week ago we embraced our 100th day being together~
it's a big day for Koreans, in everything the 100th days are celebrated~~
i had alwiz been thankful that i have him with me~
through all the sufferings i'm enduring~
and also through all the good times we're sharing~~
it's the longest relationship i had been in...for the moment...
and also he's the one i would like to spend my life with~~
however....
i guess i'm back to moodswing recently due to too much stress and too many matters to be taken care of~~
i started to think a lot, and started to being doubtful all over again...
i lost my confidence in us, or more, i lost the belief i had in me....
the negative thoughts are eating up all the spaces in my head....
and i even started to doubt how far more we can go~~
in the end, i just released all of my frustrations on him...
pity him...for being the victim of my unknown dilemmas...
and all he can do is keep apologizing, for something that's not even his fault...
i'm not a good girlfriend...i admit...
i know i bullied him a lot...
i should treat him better instead...
i'll learn to control myself more...
but at the moment, the stress on my shoulder is taking its toll on my spiritual and mental strength...
oh God...please help me...
bless me with wisdom and strength...to get over all the problems i'm facing now...
hope everything will turn out just right....

anyway...
Happy (belated) 100th Days baby~♥
and i'm sorry for treating u bad...

3rd Monthsary =)

不知不觉，在一起满三个月了~

虽然在这当中，只有1个星期的时间是真正在一起的……

但是你说过，无论何时，你都在我心里陪着我 =)

再熬过5个月，就可以紧紧的抱着你了~

这段时间以来，谢谢你的耐性和包容~

我不乖，爱捣蛋爱耍赖，总是爱气一气你~

但你从来都不会对我发脾气，哪怕只是那么一丁点儿都没有~~

虽然我常常嚷着要换bb~但是你知道那不是真的……

再给我个高帅富我也只要我的bb~~

上个月小小的抱怨了一下下……

结果这个月居然给了我个大惊喜 T^T

 死家伙，害我边哭边笑的把视频看完 >_<

又感动又开心的~~

倒数着100日和10月的到来~~

比鼻~~爱你哟~~